Honorable Mention

Everyone's the star of the their own life, but sometimes I can't shake the feeling that I'm not even the top billing in that. There are some people that Do, and some people that Watch, and what can I say, I'm a watcher. Not in the creepy, stalker way, but lets just say that most of my thrills are of the vicarious variety. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a people-pleaser (to a certain extent), and wanting those around you to be happy, but at the same time perhaps I'm focusing on other people's happiness at the cost of my own.

Sometimes I win awards. I'm not particularly ambitious, but once in a while I'll over achieve. You know what place I always get? 4th. As in, "Well, you did a good job, and you almost deserve a real award. Here's an Honorable Mention certificate." The other award I often get is Most Improved. This one says, "Well, at least you didn't get worse! As if that were possible..." Not that I don't appreciate the recognition, but you know, I think it'd be nice to get 1st once in a while. Or even 3rd. I'm not super ambitious or anything.

So you know that question, if someone were to star in a movie about your life, who would it be? I realized I'd never really be the protagonist in anything. I'd be the quirky, sarcastic best friend to some cute girl with less wit but better luck. I'd give great advice that no one would ever follow. Circumstance would propel her to fame and fortune, or at least get her a guy, and I'd be there to eat ice cream and watch sad movies with her when her heart breaks, right before the inevitable conclusion when all her dreams come true. I'd be the Bonnie Hunt to someone's Meg Ryan. Yes, that's who would play me: Bonnie Hunt.

But you know, even Bonnie got her own talk show, so I think I'm doing alright...

i didn't want to wake you up

but I really wanna show you something...




Watch the trailer:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/


The images from the movie are really beautiful. But the book... the book freaked me out as a child. I still used to read it a lot, but I would honestly read every book I owned a lot. And as I still remember it quite vividly, it apparently did make an impressive impact on my young psyche. Flipping through the pages of the classic story today makes my heart flutter nostalgically.

So I have a soft spot for Max and his weird, freaky friends. The pictures were fascinating, and while for certain I did not comprehend the true meaning of the escapist story, subconsciously perhaps I could relate even then. Even though you promise yourself as a child that you will never forget, eventually you do forget what it's like to think like one. Who can say whether I was truly touched by the tale as a kid, or I am putting some special value on it now, now that it's become a highly anticipated feature film? I am just not sure.

Either way, I am not necessarily completely excited for the movie. Watching the trailer, I like it, but I generally remain completely unaffected. I doubt I will even end up seeing it. The alternate world, no matter how enchantingly it is presented, just doesn't interest me enough. The story, I already know. Watching the trailer is enough. I can see where it's going, what it's going to be like, and by not watching the movie, I won't be disappointed!

I just can't muster up the energy to care at all about the film. Instead, I'd rather just dust off my copy of the book once again...

family matters

Oh 80's sitcoms. How I love thee. Thank God for Nick at Night.

Watching Family Matters right now. It's interesting the things you find to do when trying to avoid actual work.

Highlights:

Silly jokes like, Eddie: "Hey Waldo, how do I look?" Waldo: "With your eyes."

Corny lesson-learned type speeches like, Carl: "Well Laura, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is."

Semi-racist jokes that you couldn't get away with after 1992 like Carl's imitation of a convenience store owner-- some kind of "ethnic" accent?!?

It reminds me of the good old days when floral curtains and carpets where in, Dads wore Cosby sweaters, all sons cared about was getting dates and teenage daughters just wanted to wear make up, and the lesson was learned at the end of the day.

Yeah, technically Family Matters aired more during the 90's, but as a spin-off of Perfect Strangers (trivia alert!), it retains that oh so wholesome 80's spirit.

And as a conclusion, here is my haiku to Alex P. Keaton, #1 crush. The only reason why I watched Family Ties. And yes, a haiku is a little ironic, I'll admit.

young republican:
sweater vests, pills, wall street talks;
chess, and courtney cox

Cool beans.

who watches the watchmen?

Everybody watches the Watchmen, apparently.

Which is weird. It's weird how comic book movies are made to be mainstream blockbusters, when in reality comics are for such a niche community. Of the 100 people in the theater last night, how many of them actually read the graphic novel? Because of all the hype, I wonder if a lot of people are going to be disappointed. Reading the comic, all I could think was how are they going to make this into a movie? It's dark, and long, and generally not the type of story everyone "gets" or likes.

Going in, I wasn't expecting much. But you know, maybe because I had low expectations, I actually thought the movie was really good. I really liked it.

What I enjoyed most about it was it's visual aspects. It was filmed very fluidly, and in a way that kept you stimulated throughout (even though it was long... oh so very long...). And I could appreciate all the little set details and the peripheral characters in the background who played a larger role in the book. The movie looked just like the comic. And it made my geeky little heart happy.

The movie was amazingly faithful to the graphic novel. But since everything was condensed, it lacked the same emotional heft of the book. Which is really the whole point of the story. I mean, they took out Tales of the Black Freighter! Understandable, but that story within the story was the most haunting and powerful part of the story.

Watching the film is kind of like watching a tribute band. The notes are right and the lyrics are correct, but something fundamental is missing. I can imagine most people who haven't read the book leaving the theater thinking, "What's the big fucking deal?" And by just watching the movie, they'd be right.

all the small things

Sometimes it's the little things that keep you going. You can have a craptastic day, and all it takes is one little comment to turn it around. Maybe not completely, but at least it'll stop you from walking straight off the edge.

Scene: Working at retail store developed in hell

Manager: blah blah blah... do a lot of things. SMILE! =D
Me: Ok! (I did not get enough sleep to be doing this... grumble)
Customers: Oooo! That's cute! (gets in my way)
Me: Are you finding everything ok? :] (grumble grumble grumble)
Customers: Yes, thank you.
Me: OK! (grumble)
Little Girl: Can you help me get this down?
Me: Sure! What size do you want?
Little Girl: Oh... small. And medium. And maybe a large.
Me: OK! (seriously???)
Little Girl: (kind of quitely:) You're pretty
Me: (...What? did you just say...) Um, thanks! (OMG CAN I HUG YOU?) Here you go! (SMILING!)

So thanks, little girl. You made my day. And for the record, you are way cuter than I am, or ever was.

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people that could just have random conversations with people. For some reason, people really enjoy having them with me. I would never initiate anything myself.

Scene II: Walking to the bus stop after class

Me: (listening to my iPod-- "nothing says "fuck off" more than a pair of headphones")
Random middle-aged German (?) guy: Good music?
Me: (Did he just ask about my music? I'm not sure I heard right...) *smiles and nods
RMAG?G: You like music?
Me: (*takes off headphones) Yeah. :)
RMAG?G: What are you studying in school?
Me: Um, journalism.
RMAG?G: Oh that's great! You know it's hard to get into because there aren't any more newspapers! They're all closing down!
Me: I know! It makes me worried...
(start to head in different directions)
RMAG?G: Good luck!
Me: Ha. Thanks!!

First of all, kudos for him for approaching me while I was listening to my iPod. That's tough to do. But I always welcome conversations with strangers (seriously-- it can get pretty interesting!) and that was probably one of the most random ones. Usually you're like waiting in line for somthing, but this guy just comes out of nowhere. Plus, he had an accent, which is always awesome. So that day, when all I could think about was getting home and not having to deal with any more people, this guy comes along and gives me a conversation to smile about. Not even a thrilling one with any substance, but just his friendliness is enough.

Conclusion? Yeah... sometimes a little human contact is a good thing (that's what she said), even for those of us who are very antisocial, and slightly agoraphobic, to say the least.

baby, i'm amazed

It's amazing what you end up doing when you're trying to procrastinate doing something actually important. I rated the songs on my iPod. I cleaned my closet. I'm putting up a post! So anyway, I don't even know what to write about. I feel so out of practice, and those creative juices just ain't flowing.

For a little inspiration, here's a quote I've been thinking about recently: "Isn't it amazing how differently two people can feel about the same thing?"

That's not an exact quote, and I really have no idea what it's from, and now that I think about it, I might have come up with it myself. The point is, what I'm applying it to right now is the always tricky topic of relationships. Because just the fact that you can be absolutely, totally and completely in love with someone, having it consume you like a storm raging within, and have the other person smile at you back benignly oblivious to what you feel... well what are you suppose to do about that?

Let's say for instance, that he (or she) can accidentally brush your hand. To them it's a moment to be filed away between kicking a pebble earlier that day and buying a bag of chips from the vending machine. But to you it is Life. It is the fantastical beginning of what you can hope will be more. It is the moment you will recall someday, as you say to that person, "What? That's when you fell in love with me? For me, it was when you brushed my hand...."

Crushes are not fun. They are difficult. They make you excited, and sad, and confused. Of my crushes, I would think: every time you look away, every time you talk to someone else, every time you do not gravitate towards me every time I think "If you kiss me now, I would not stop you," I am reminded that every time I think of you is every time you are not thinking of me.

Eventually I stop wishing for you to notice me. Instead, I dream for someone to walk into the room and make me forget all about you. So then I won't care if you don't even notice that I am gone. But damn it, I wish you would. Don't you know that you standing there, just your presence, is breaking my heart?

why i've been gone so long

Why have I been MIA? Well basically, I had nothing to write about. The more I actually do, the less I have time and energy to dedicate to thinking up something to write about, never mind actually writing anything.

But then I realized, HEY. I can and should do both! Write and live, I mean. Because looking at this list, I haven't really done much. I have my own personal bucket list, but here's 100 things from someone else's. The thing's I've done are in bold. How few and far between... =(

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (does a fake one with no instruments count? what about a band with a kick ass name, that doesn't ever play? because if that's the case, there's 2 right there!)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower (never end up seeing anything!)
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (one day)
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis (i never even see them. maybe once in my entire life...)
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped (never)
12. Visited Paris (i wish)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (maybe)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept overnight on a train (i slept in a bus before)
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden a gondola in Switzerland
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language (french, for exactly 1 week)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (not anymore...)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing (after i get in shape!)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke (hehehe)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (ok, not completely...)
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (i wish!)
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt (damn proud of that too!)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (essentially that's what it was... =/ )
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (one day!)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible (i read Genesis one night...)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (err... how famous?)
92. Joined a book club (started one!)
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit (very distantly... i got like $14 out of it)
98. Owned a cell phone (uhh...)
99. Been stung by a bee
100. One cavity or less