baby, i'm amazed

It's amazing what you end up doing when you're trying to procrastinate doing something actually important. I rated the songs on my iPod. I cleaned my closet. I'm putting up a post! So anyway, I don't even know what to write about. I feel so out of practice, and those creative juices just ain't flowing.

For a little inspiration, here's a quote I've been thinking about recently: "Isn't it amazing how differently two people can feel about the same thing?"

That's not an exact quote, and I really have no idea what it's from, and now that I think about it, I might have come up with it myself. The point is, what I'm applying it to right now is the always tricky topic of relationships. Because just the fact that you can be absolutely, totally and completely in love with someone, having it consume you like a storm raging within, and have the other person smile at you back benignly oblivious to what you feel... well what are you suppose to do about that?

Let's say for instance, that he (or she) can accidentally brush your hand. To them it's a moment to be filed away between kicking a pebble earlier that day and buying a bag of chips from the vending machine. But to you it is Life. It is the fantastical beginning of what you can hope will be more. It is the moment you will recall someday, as you say to that person, "What? That's when you fell in love with me? For me, it was when you brushed my hand...."

Crushes are not fun. They are difficult. They make you excited, and sad, and confused. Of my crushes, I would think: every time you look away, every time you talk to someone else, every time you do not gravitate towards me every time I think "If you kiss me now, I would not stop you," I am reminded that every time I think of you is every time you are not thinking of me.

Eventually I stop wishing for you to notice me. Instead, I dream for someone to walk into the room and make me forget all about you. So then I won't care if you don't even notice that I am gone. But damn it, I wish you would. Don't you know that you standing there, just your presence, is breaking my heart?