After being inspired by EW’s “TV Characters You’d Date”, I spent way too much time thinking over my own list. I decided to expand the qualifications a bit (to movies, basically). Sigh… some boys are just too dreamy….
10. The Narrator from Fight Club (played by Edward Norton): OK. This one would be more of a tryst. A really hot, sexy one, no? This guy is seriously batshit insane—but to use an very trite phrase, he just looked so good being so bad. I’d say more about what he does in the movie, but you know the first rule of Fight Club, so I’ll just go on.
9. Han Solo (from Star Wars, duh): Thinking about it, I could pick a number of Harrison Ford movies (Indiana Jones, The Fugitive, etc.) in which I’d like to date him. So I kind of just wanted to pick Ford himself, but that kind of defeats the concept of this list, doesn’t it? In the end, I decided Han wins out, as a roguish smuggler who gets mixed up with this kid named Luke. Through this unlikely happenstance, Han discovers being part of a group ain’t so bad, and we (the audience… of his life) get to see that he’s a smart, sarcastic reckless, amazing pilot with a heart of gold. Also, his best bud is a big, cuddly Wookiee. Aww.
8. Logan Echolls (from Veronica Mars): Oh Logan, you were Veronica’s obligatory psychotic jackass, and yet your love for her was epic. The duplicity of Logan made him one of the best characters on the show. Even though he started out as an organizer of bum fights, went on to boink his friend’s stepmom (granted she was a MILF to the max), and eventually became super emo kid, Logan still maintained his wit, charm, loyalty, and all-around awesomeness. And honestly, it’s amazing he even managed to function with all the f—ed up stuff that happened to him (his dad sleeping with, and then murdering his girlfriend, and his mom committing suicide is just the beginning), so I guess I can give him a little slack. Plus, he sure is cute.
7. Leopold (from Kate and Leopold): Hugh Jackman was the only redeeming quality of a pretty bad chick flick. Leopold accidentally gets transported through time from 1870s New York to modern day 2001 NYC. He’s like Mr. Darcy minus all the haughtiness, and man, does his charisma just ooze off the screen. It’s like, one look from Leo, and you would eat some of that disgusting fake-butter stuff he’s trying to sell you. And you’d enjoy it, dammit. Meg Ryan has had a lot of enticing male leads to fall in love with, but none come close to the perfection of prim and proper Leopold.
6. Zach Morris (from Saved by the Bell): Way totally cool and awesome, who could resist his pretty brown eyes and surfer-boy blonde hair? I mean, come on-- he had a cell phone in 1991! He was like a class clown/troublemaker in 2nd grade that just never grew up, because even though he did some pretty underhanded things to his friends, he always repented with the utmost sincerity, that little rascal. Kelly never deserved such a guy, and I want my turn.
5. Marshall Eriksen (from How I Met Your Mother): He sings! He studies law! He always wins games! He slaps!! Marshall is the fun-loving, somewhat naïve, and always loyal best friend I’d want to someday marry. Or at least date.
4. William Thatcher (from A Knights Tale): I didn’t always like this movie, but the more times I watched (I have no idea why I kept watching it), the more I grew to love it (along with Heath Ledger’s character, William, of course). Underneath the silly, purposefully anachronistic popcorn fare of a film lies a moving character study of a boy who grows up and does achieve his seemingly elusive dream. His wish to be a knight is so pure and noble, and his love runs so deep for his friends and family, that William is truly a hero for the ages.
3. Coach Eric Taylor (from Friday Night Lights): If there were such of a thing as a FILF, Eric Taylor would be it. He’s not perfect, but he tries so hard, and whenever he does succeed in being Awesome Dad or Husband or Coach, I swear my uterus gives a little jump. Like, marry me, Mr. Taylor. I’ve never seen any squinty-eyed guy look so good in a blue polo and southern accent. Oh, and his hair! It’s so emotive, I think it deserves its own show.
2. Edward Cullen (from Twilight): Otherworldly good looks (literally), a genuinely good disposition, intelligent, athletic (as in, insanely fast and strong), and a loving heart (if only it beat), Edward is perfect. Except for the fact that he’s a vampire.
1. Jim Halpert (from The Office): You know, since Jim is actually human, I thought he should get the number one spot. He’s nearly perfect, and, in fact, his lack of ambition is part of what makes him so charming. We would have so much fun pulling pranks on Dwight and making faces at the camera over the crazy stuff Michael says. We’d fall into a comfortable relationship, but his humor and thoughtfulness would keep it from being boring. I’d work in any office if he were my desk buddy.