the edge of reason

I always break a nail at the most inopportune moment. I f-- up job interviews. More times than not I have a run in my stockings (and for men who complain about wearing a tie to work, try wearing pantyhose every day). I sing the wrong words to songs. It takes me a while to do simple math in my head. I'm sometimes late to class, and if I'm on time, that just means I've forgotten my homework. When I wake up in the morning I don't feel like doing my hair up in some perfect kind of coif. I feel like going back to bed. And I will never, ever be Skinny Enough.

Every woman has felt like Bridget Jones at one point or another. Sure it's the 21st century, but there's no denying that a single 35 year old man is a very different thing than a single 35 year old woman. That is a very scary future (or present) for all of us. Every woman has felt too fat, smoked or drank too much, burned a dinner, and dated the wrong guys while waiting for the right one. Bridget Jones is the clumsy girl who says the wrong thing at the wrong time in all of us.

And all we want is for someone to tell us they like us.
Just as we are.

But besides that, it's not like we can't kick our bad habits, get in shape, and have an awesome career anyway.

it should happen to you

Isn't it a funny thought, the importance and the meaning of a single, ordinary life? Is it fair to call a life ordinary? Who can say what counts as extraordinary?

There are obvious cases of the extra-ness. People who have touched thousands or millions of lives. (Michael Scott touched two lives, the moment he was born!) Whether it be Hitler, or Gandhi, or James Dean... but fame or infamy do not necessarily tell the whole story. For every Holocaust victim, the SS officer who watched them burn was a much more tangible threat than the mastermind himself. The world watched Gandhi strike, strike for rights and freedoms they supported, while they themselves ate their dinners that night. We admire the rebel without a cuase, but our own rebellions, whatever they may be, were for our own causes.

There's an old movie with Judy Holliday and Jack Lemon. She becomes famous being the face of billboards around New York City, and he becomes her common sense.

"I'd rather mean something to a few people," he tells her when her 15 minutes of fame go to her head, "than a whole lot of nothing special to everyone." Or, you know, something like that.

Even the rare few who make it into the pantheon of immortal icons we fear or admire or strive to be only lived as great as those directly around them saw them to be. Life isn't a popularity contest. The most ordinary life won't make in into the history books, but it'll still be part of history.

The Breakfast Club

Sometimes I just read other people's blogs. I realize how much more articulate they are, and I can't write anymore.

RIP, man.

Thoughts on HPB

[I love this picture. Nitpicky-- Dumbledore needs to be taller...]

HBP is what all the cool kids call it. I’m talking about Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, yo. Ok, I guess we’re not the cool kids. We’re the dorky ones. But you know what? We get to dress up in cool costumes on a night that is not Halloween, and can you say you can do that? YEAH that’s what I thought, you poser.

So I went to the Harry Potter premiere last night. I did NOT dress up, in case you were wondering. Unless you were referring to my awesome new shirt and cute jeans.

Let me tell you, never again could I do it. I love me some dorky things, but I’m more of a dork-reading-in-my-room-by-myself kind of gal, not the let’s go to Comic-Con!!! type of person. In other words, I’m anti-social and agoraphobic.

Here are my random, unorganized thoughts on the movie. SPOILER ALERT if you haven’t seen it yet. (WHY haven’t you seen it yet?!):

-Harry Potter is short. Ginny is way too tall for him.

-Speaking of Ginny, sucks to be her with Hermione totally bringing the hotness. Just makes her look so… plain. She’s actually kinda cute-ish, but Hermione is REALLY cute! And I say this as a person that does not even like movie-Hermione.

-My word processor accepts “Hermione” as a real name! That’s awesome!!! I hate those red squiggly lines!

-Draco Malfoy is tall. And thus, HOT. All hot and tall and lanky in his black suit… yum. He’s a little HFFA (hot from far away), because his face just makes him look old, but how picky can I be? Who am I gonna oogle over? RON?!

-Poor Ron. They didn’t even give him lines in the last scene! WTF?! Way to make him seem useless! He’s not THAT dumb and boring! Ugh.

-Cormic McLaggin was pretty cute too.

-Bellatrix is awesome.

-Dumbledore is mediocre, and it’s kind of sad. Too little Dumbledore, too much Malfoy. Too little Pensieve scenes. Too much… I don’t even know? It was kind of a slow movie, huh?

-The movie was seriously fucking my eyes. Visually, I think it is my favorite Harry Potter. All the other ones looked amazing too, but this one was super enjoyable, I think. Maybe I just never appreciated it before. Since the story felt kind of slow, all the suspense (what little there was) came from the camera movements. Kudos on cinematography, as always.

-I don’t know how they could have made the story more interesting, because it followed the book… but something… some emotional connection or fluid storytelling… seemed lacking. It’s an inherent problem of the medium because obviously not everything can be carried over from book to movie, and through that transition, some things just get lost…

-I’m trying so hard not to be nit-picky but certain things like them just leaving Dumbledore’s dead body laying there for, like, forever, bothers me. I understand not having the funeral, but I wish we could have seen the white casket, Faulks burning… etc.

-Totally just remembered, aren’t certain things involving the Elder Wand important to set up at the end of this movie? I’m guessing they’re just going to change a lot of that, but… still.

-And now I just want to go re-read the book!

I Like Movies

And this is why I write.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/09/AR2009070902567.html?wprss=rss_print/style

i didn't want to wake you up

but I really wanna show you something...




Watch the trailer:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/


The images from the movie are really beautiful. But the book... the book freaked me out as a child. I still used to read it a lot, but I would honestly read every book I owned a lot. And as I still remember it quite vividly, it apparently did make an impressive impact on my young psyche. Flipping through the pages of the classic story today makes my heart flutter nostalgically.

So I have a soft spot for Max and his weird, freaky friends. The pictures were fascinating, and while for certain I did not comprehend the true meaning of the escapist story, subconsciously perhaps I could relate even then. Even though you promise yourself as a child that you will never forget, eventually you do forget what it's like to think like one. Who can say whether I was truly touched by the tale as a kid, or I am putting some special value on it now, now that it's become a highly anticipated feature film? I am just not sure.

Either way, I am not necessarily completely excited for the movie. Watching the trailer, I like it, but I generally remain completely unaffected. I doubt I will even end up seeing it. The alternate world, no matter how enchantingly it is presented, just doesn't interest me enough. The story, I already know. Watching the trailer is enough. I can see where it's going, what it's going to be like, and by not watching the movie, I won't be disappointed!

I just can't muster up the energy to care at all about the film. Instead, I'd rather just dust off my copy of the book once again...

who watches the watchmen?

Everybody watches the Watchmen, apparently.

Which is weird. It's weird how comic book movies are made to be mainstream blockbusters, when in reality comics are for such a niche community. Of the 100 people in the theater last night, how many of them actually read the graphic novel? Because of all the hype, I wonder if a lot of people are going to be disappointed. Reading the comic, all I could think was how are they going to make this into a movie? It's dark, and long, and generally not the type of story everyone "gets" or likes.

Going in, I wasn't expecting much. But you know, maybe because I had low expectations, I actually thought the movie was really good. I really liked it.

What I enjoyed most about it was it's visual aspects. It was filmed very fluidly, and in a way that kept you stimulated throughout (even though it was long... oh so very long...). And I could appreciate all the little set details and the peripheral characters in the background who played a larger role in the book. The movie looked just like the comic. And it made my geeky little heart happy.

The movie was amazingly faithful to the graphic novel. But since everything was condensed, it lacked the same emotional heft of the book. Which is really the whole point of the story. I mean, they took out Tales of the Black Freighter! Understandable, but that story within the story was the most haunting and powerful part of the story.

Watching the film is kind of like watching a tribute band. The notes are right and the lyrics are correct, but something fundamental is missing. I can imagine most people who haven't read the book leaving the theater thinking, "What's the big fucking deal?" And by just watching the movie, they'd be right.

is he a pig? he sure eats like one.

I watched about half of E.T. the other day. Man, what a movie. It really is exceptional. I’ve seen it a few times before, but most of those times were when I was a little a kid and still freaked out by that little guy. I’m still slightly traumatized by that scene when Michael (the older brother) finds E.T. all sick and dying in the forest. He just looked so freakishly gross. I remember that and the candy scene from when I was younger. We had an E.T. pencil at home, too, and I could never use it. Too scary.

But now that I’m older, I must admit I’m quite charmed by E.T. Each successive time I watched (I have no idea why I subjected myself to it multiple times. I’m pretty sure we owned the VHS), the cuteness to scary ratio would go up (or down?), and now I really like that extraterrestrial. (If he were actually in my house, however, I’m not saying I wouldn’t run screaming.)

Anyway, I first off must admit I am a huge Steven Spielberg fan. His movies are total gold. Just because he makes popcorn flicks for the masses doesn’t mean he’s not talented, you film snobs. I think it’s part of his genius—he makes movies with the audience in mind. His movies are so damn entertaining, you don’t even realize his technical skill.

So watching E.T., I was drawn into all the emotional notes of the story. But at the same time part of me sat there in wonderment of the faultless execution of the film. The tone and atmosphere is really well established by the cinematography such as the faceless men marching when E.T. is taken away. The spacesuit scene is so surreal, and reinforces the childlike perspective. The entire movie is a memory of childhood, perhaps not as a child actually sees the world, but how an adult remembers seeing the world as a child. If that makes any sense. And dude, when the music swells up and the boys start flying on their bikes, it is truly a magical moment. Yea, I know, I’m a total cornball.

I could go on, but I guess I’ll just wrap it up with the script. The script! A total Spielberg script with “ordinary” characters and movie-witty jokes. Visuals are the most important parts of film, but as a writer, I can’t help but pay close attention to dialogue, pacing, and story arc. Lines like Elliot whispering to E.T. “I’ll believe in you all my life,” make me so happy. Not “remember” but “believe”. Perfect. They call movies like Gone with the Wind and Lawrence of Arabia epics, but I think E.T. is pretty epic in its own right.

finally!

A day off! As in, nothing planned after 6 straight hours of classes today. Sure, the rest of my week is loaded up to the max, but after today, I'll be so ready, yo. I'm using tonight to re-energize fo shizzle.

On another note: Soy brillante. Recibí un grado perfecto en mi examen español hoy. ¡Hurra!

And finally, I came across a really cute movie poster for "The Ugly Truth." (or is it really "theuglytruth"?) So I totally IMDBed it, and the plot summary is amazingly enticing:

A romantically challenged morning show producer (Heigl) is reluctantly embroiled in a series of outrageous tests by her chauvinistic correspondent (Butler) to prove his theories on relationships and help her find love. His clever ploys, however, lead to an unexpected result.

How fresh and original! Heigl really went out there for this role; it doesn't sound at all like the romantically challenged E! host she played in Knocked Up. And a chauvinistic correspondent? Assholes are really hot, you know. They only act jerky so when the right woman comes along, they can change. I guess that's why they keep popping up in romantic comedies. I mean, really? Really?! (to steal a line from Amy Poeler) How many men are outwardly chauvinistic in the workplace these days anyway? It worked in 9 to 5, but that was made in 1980.

I must say that the best part of the summary is the "unexpected result" we can look forward to at the end of the movie. Wow. I just have no idea what it could be. So does that mean Katherine Heigl will hate Gerald Butler for being an obnoxious smart ass? She won't fall for his rugged good looks, charming smile and clever, incorrigibly rascal ways? That must mean she will most definitely not fall for him when she shockingly discovers he really has a heart of gold and/or some past trauma that understandably made him this way. He in turn won't be able to see her as anything more than a smoking hot body and blonde hair because they will not be thrown together in a contrived instance where they will be forced to talk and get to know one another!

The ugly truth is, this movie was already made before. Although I'm pretty sure the first time, it was called Someone Like You and starred Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman.

winter blues

Anything can be cured with a good film. Here are my top 7 for when you’re feeling cranky, low, or just down right depressed. Yay! Chin up, Sunshine. It’s a bright day.

1. Singin’ in the Rain: Just all-around magical with a cute plot, period costumes, corny jokes (“Cosmo, call me a cab!” “OK, you’re a cab.”), amazing dancing, and joyful singing. The American Film Institute ranked this as the #5 Greatest Movie of All Time. Seriously, it’s that good.

2. The Sound of Music: Nuns, Nazis, and bratty kids interact in beautiful Austria to the beat of a catchy soundtrack. Good times had by all.

3. A Little Romance: If I were to make a movie, I’d want it to be like this. It’s not an ambitious film by any means, but it’s insanely endearing. It stars an adolescent Diane Lane who meets a boy in Paris, and to cement their love (aw, first love), they travel to Venice to kiss at sunset. It also stars Laurence Olivier as their mentor/chaperone. The story is sweet (if a bit unrealistic) and intimate, and the scenery is beautiful. It inspired me to try learning a little French, too.

4. North by Northwest: The movie that made me love movies is one that I can always come back to. Feeling down? Why not watch Carey Grant for a couple of hours!

5. Finding Nemo: Someone else pointed this one out, and I must agree, it’s an excellent comfort movie. The soothing waves of the ocean, the heartwarming story of father and son, Dory and an exciting adventure… so much fun! Visually, the movie is absolutely stunning (oh wow, I sound like Tim Gunn). I could stare at it for hours. Which, I guess is kind of what you do when watching a movie anyway.

6. Speed: One cure for depression is to get that adrenaline pumping! Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves must save themselves and a bus full of passengers from exploding—they can’t drive slower than 50 mph! But the freeway! It’s not finished!! Ahhh!! Made about fifteen years ago, the excitement still holds up. A fun ride to make you forget all your troubles.

7. You’ve Got Mail: I’m all over any movie with Christmastime in New York, honestly. Even better when it involves Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks falling in love. It’s based on an old movie called The Shop Around the Corner starring one of my favorite actor sever, James Stewart. Of course, back then, they communicated via newspaper. It’s the 21st century, though, so YGM is all about the email! Anyway, this movie gives me the warm fuzzies every time, and it’s pretty cute and clever.

Honorable Mentions: The Princess Bride, The Goonies, Big, Hot Shots!, and Back to the Future… basically any movie made in the 1980s.

shoot 'em up

I think I like the idea of Westerns more than the actual films. Granted, I haven’t seen many, but the ones I have seen… I can enjoy them mildly (I’m talking about the classic John Wayne types). Nostalgia, simpler times, American…ness, questionable morality, good vs. bad… I dig all those things. But the movies themselves are just too slow and sometimes sad for my taste. But you know, I’ll watch a good old American Western once in a while. Those Spaghetti Westerns, though, ugg. Fun, but too novelty.

Anyway, so today I watched the original 3:10 to Yuma. I had seen the remake, and I pretty much didn’t like it much at all. Surprisingly (or maybe not), I enjoyed the original one more. So here’s the breakdown.

3:10 to Yuma (2007) vs. (1957)

The Plot: (via imdb.com)

2007:
The rancher Daniel Evans, who lost part of his leg in the Civil War, is broken and owing a large amount to a powerful man in Bisbee. When the outlaw Ben Wade is captured after the heist of a stagecoach, Dan offers to escort the cold blood killer to the city of Contention to take the 3:10 PM train to Yuma to be sent to trial. In return, he would receive US$ 200,00, enough to save his land and give a better life to his family. During their journey, Ben gets closer to Dan while his gang of criminals follows the group to rescue their boss.

1957:
After outlaw leader Ben Wade is captured in a small town, small-time rancher Dan Evans is persuaded to take Wade in secret to a railway station in Contention to await the train to the court at Yuma. Once the two are holed up in the hotel to wait it becomes apparent the secret is out, and a battle of wills starts.

Bottom Line:
Basically, get Ben Wade on that 3:10 train to Yuma (so he can be HANGED!! That dirty murderer!). Except he’s so damn charismatic and smart, he kind of almost gets Dan Evans on his side. Dan is the most decent, talented, and intelligent of the motley crew trying to bring Ben in. Ben and Dan form mutual respect for each other, but is it enough so that Dan will give into Ben?? Tension! Suspense! Psychological warfare!

But the 2007 extends the trip between Ben’s ranch and Contention City, adding a lot more characters and filler action sequences to make it an ACTION! MOVIE!! It also gives the movie more plot holes than… a stupid action movie.

The original movie was simple (a third of the movie takes place in one room) and succinct. Even though the pace is somewhat slow, it’s deliberate, and it’s well done.

Dan:

In the 2007 movie, Dan is… kind of whiny. He is, like, a super brooding loser who doesn’t even have the respect of his family. “Don't do it, Dan. No one will think less of you.,” his wife says. “Uh, I think you will. Your bratty son definitely will,” I say to her. “No one can think less of me,” Dan agrees, in the movie. Aw, dammit! That’s sad! I don’t know why they made him a self-loathing cripple. We kind of end up pitying him, which I think kind of misses the point of his character. In the 1957 version, Dan is a sidelines guy who doesn’t try to change things he can’t. So to prove he has some conviction (and earn some money), he helps bring Ben in. In the 2007 version, he is a man who thinks he has nothing to lose, and in a last ditch effort to show is family that he’s not completely useless, he risks his life to help bring Ben in.

In both, Dan is a guy who is Doing The Right Thing, but because the 2007 adds all this depressing back story, it weakens his character instead of making him stronger. It makes him seems stubborn, and foolish, and up to this point, he’s a wasted man that is unappreciated by his family. Dan in the 1957 movie is also under appreciated, but his redemption comes at the beginning of the movie, after he decides to bring in Ben, making his journey to and at Contention a story of a hero, instead of a depressed man struggling to become one. The latter might sound better to some (in the execution of the movie, however, it’s not), but I think that a Western shouldn’t have its protagonist so emo. I spent so much time feeling sorry for 2007 Dan, it got kind of annoying after a while.

Cinematography:

The 1957 one was filmed in black and white, and the feel was very much an old-fashioned western. Since it came a little later, though, some of the camera angles were actually pretty compelling, and it almost felt kind of noir-ish at times.

The 2007 movie had virtually no wide angle shots, which is blasphemous, I think, in a Western. So yea, it was more ACTION! MOVIE! than Western. Boo. When I watch a Western, I want to see, I want to feel the still, dusty, dry, emptiness.

The Ending:

I won’t go into too much detail, but both endings are pretty ridiculous. They ended differently, but each ending matched it’s movie, and worked in context. The 2007 one left me feeling so depressed, and I hate depressing endings so maybe I’m a little biased, but of the two, I liked the 1957 ending better. I think I was just fed up with the stupidity with everyone in the 2007 movie that I wished everyone was shot up dead.

while you're ahead

I really hate Hollywood sometimes. Did anyone see Wanted? It was an OK movie. Entertaining but not mind-blowing, and thoughtful but not poignant. It works well as a stand alone movie, and has (I think) a very conclusive ending, but OF COURSE there's going to be TWO MORE sequels now. STOP MAKING UNNECESSARY SEQUELS.

And I really have no more to say. I just had to rant a little.

oh no

I’m really really really tired of superhero movies. Before The Dark Knight came out, I thought anyone who said that was just full of himself, but now… I just don’t care about them anymore too. “Just don’t watch them!” you say? Well, yes, that would be a good solution, but despite the fact that I’m beginning to develop a gag reflex to their posters and trailers and internet rumors, I still can’t stay away. And somehow it still hurts my heart when I hear news like this:

Group President Jeff Robinov confirmed to The Wall Street Journal that they plan on rebooting the franchise, a'la The Incredible Hulk. "Superman [Returns] didn't quite work as a film in the way that we wanted it to," says Robinov. "It didn't position the character the way he needed to be positioned. Had Superman worked in 2006, we would have had a movie for Christmas of this year or 2009. But now the plan is just to reintroduce Superman without regard to a Batman and Superman movie at all."

The plan is to release four comic book movies in the next three years -- including a third Batman (no word on whether Nolan is returning), a new Superman, and two other unnamed DC characters. Robinov also confirmed that Warner Bros plans to adopt the Marvel route of a single film for each character, and then building on those origin films to create crossover stories, rather than just jumping into the deep end of the Justice League pool. The only worrying part about Warner Bros new plan is that they are still drunk on The Dark Knight, and want their superhero films to follow that mold. Robinov feels that "exploring the evil side to characters" is the way to approach all the DC characters. "We're going to try to go dark to the extent that the characters allow it." Including Superman.

Guess what, guys! After they suck the well dry of individual superhero stories, we’re going to get crossover movies! See, Batman’s awesome. Superman’s awesome. Make a few movies “developing” those characters… put them together… shake well… and BAM. A summer blockbuster to blow your mind hole.

But seriously, how many times can we retread the origins of Superman?! And why must it always be DARKER! I’m so over this “Yes, I may be super strong, fast, intelligent, and heroic, but man, I got issues. I’m hurtin’.” Is Superman really a dark character? The difference between Batman and Supes is that “Superman” is just a persona. The guy deep down is really just Clark Kent. But for Batman, Bruce Wayne is the cover story. Batman is… Batman.

I’m not too crazy about a Superman reboot. I think Returns sucks, but I also can’t really imagine Superman working in any other context because he’s so iconic. His all-American red and blue costume reflects an earlier time that doesn’t really lend itself to the dark and mature audience the movie will go for. If you’re going to do Superman, embrace the fact he’s the all-around hero of our childhood. We don’t love him for his flaws. We love him because he’s a fucking superhero.

ETA: You know, looking at the picture I posted, they both just look so ridiculous. It kind of puts things into perspective, I think. Get over yourselves, movies.

depressingly disillusioned

I must be an old grandma because I’m really tired of watching movies these days. Comedies are brash and vulgar. Romances are trite and annoying. Action films are loud, full of CGI, and lack substance. Dramas are depressing without presenting anything new or insightful.

I feel like this summer I forgot to watch more of the movies that made me love the medium in the first place: the films from the ‘50s and ‘60s that are innocent in their storylines and sincere in their executions. Watching these movies makes me feel nostalgic for simpler times, and casts a magic over me more potent than any Hollywood blockbuster made today could ever do. Perhaps they make me wish for a world that only exists in film, but I don’t mind—I’ll take what I can get, even if I can only experience it for a couple of hours at a time.

My favorite movies are the ones that everyone else seems to forget. Like Come September or Arabesque. They’re good movies with a good cast, but they’re not the overrated classics. You’d only watch them because they happen to be on TCM on a boring Saturday afternoon. (Or I guess that’s just what I do.) They’re hidden gems of outdated cinematography and stagier styles of acting. Girls wear evening dresses or go-go boots. The action and love isn’t showy or purposefully ironic. They are silly and serious at the same time.

Perhaps in 50 years that’s how today’s movies will seem.

And in that case, I think I’ll just wait to watch them then.

responsibly irresponsible

I finally saw Adventures in Babysitting the other day, and I do believe it has become my newest guilty pleasure. Sometimes I wish they still made movies like this. Sweet and completely over-the-top. Complete with 80’s fashion. Naturally, I also thought of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, which came a little later, but has the same charm, and coincidentally even has the same actor (Keith Coogan). I highly recommend either of these for a cozy rainy afternoon in, but since it’s sunny Southern California, you might only have time for one of them. Solution? Sudden death!

Adventures in Babysitting vs. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead

Plot:

AiB: (1987) staring Elisabeth Shue (of Karate Kid fame) as reluctant babysitter 17 year old Chris. Her d-baggy boyfriend stands her up so she takes a babysitting gig taking care of annoying 8ish year old Sara and Sara’s 15 year old brother, Brad (Coogan), who has a crush on her. Brad’s best friend also decides to hang out with the gang. Chris’s best friend runs away from home, then freaks out, so Chris has to go to the city to get her friend back home to the suburbs. She’s forced to take the kids along with her, hilarious hijinks ensue, and it turns into one crazy night!

DTMtBD: (1991) staring Christina Applegate as reluctant 18 year old babysitter/mother, Sue Ellen, to her 3 younger siblings. Coogan plays the oldest sib, Kenny, who’s a pothead loser. Mom is off for a few weeks, and the babysitter she hired for her four kids dies. The kids then decide they’ll keep the dead babysitter thing under wraps because they don’t want Mom to come home, and lazy, irresponsible Sue Ellen is forced to get a job to support the brats for a few weeks (since all the food money is buried with dead babysitter). She fakes a resume and eventually gets hired at a big company that makes uniforms, and she surprises everyone, including herself, by growing up.

Round 1: DTMtBD: it has a mouthful for a name, but you must admit it's catchy. And you know, I'm a sucker for coming of age stories, like this one essentially is.

The Badies:

AiB: A tire blows out on their way into the city, and eventually they stumble across mobsters running a car ring. They escape, but the mobsters keep chasing them relentlessly. Yikes! The city is also full of men with hooked hands, gangsters from Michael Jackson’s music video, and frat boys.

DTMtBD: A receptionist where Sue Ellen works hates Sue Ellen because she wanted the position SE got. She tries to uncover SE as a fraud with the help of a co-worker, who's also her boyfriend (?). Also, Sue Ellen’s bratty sibs don’t make it easier for her.

Round 2: AiB: Even though the other one has David Ducovony as the villain (he looks hilarious), I seriously LOVED the gangsters they meet on the train, and even the mobsters who write their notes in their Playboy magazines.

The Boy:

AiB: Chris is hot, so naturally when they all run into a house with a frat party going on at the U of Chicago, she attracts some male attention. A guy takes a liking to her in a very sincere way and even gets Chris the $50 bucks she needs to fix their flat-tired car by snapping his fingers. It’s ridiculous and it’s awesome. And he doesn’t even ruin it by asking for her number or making a move. But of course (spoiler alert!), at the end of the movie, he arrives at her house all charming and perfect-like.

DTMtBD: Sue Ellen likes a guy that works at a fast food hot dog place. They go on a cute date. Turns out, though, that his sister is the mean receptionist, so SE has to keep her job a secret, making hot dog guy suspicious. Oh no! But after a totally AWESOME fashion show Sue Ellen puts on, the air is cleared, and SE gets to make out with Mr. Hot Dog.

Round 3: DTMtBD: Mr. Hot Dog, a.k.a. Bryan seemed more like a type of guy you could actually date, even with his dorky costume. I mean, what kind of college guy gives a girl $50, leaves a party to help her out, and then shows up at her doorstep later that night to return a roller skate? Maybe I'm just cynical, but his chivalry was... odd.

Best Quotes:

AiB: Daryl is Brad’s best friend—the tag-along. He's also a bit infatuated with Chris.

Chris: Now boys, if either of you give me any grief, I swear to God I’ll kill you. Dead... murdered... stabbed.

Daryl: Raped?

Chris: …I’m too old for this crap.

And another favorite:

Gang Leader: Don’t fuck with the Lords of Hell!

Chris: Don’t FUCK with the BABYSITTER!!

DTMtBD: I haven’t seen this one in a while, so none really come up off the top of my head, although SE arguing with Kenny was a definite highlight. Um… this was a good line:

[Sue Ellen’s boss] Rose Lindsey: Sue Ellen, have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm?

Sue Ellen: [awkwardly] No… I’ve never been to Santa Barbara!!

Round 4: AiB: I don't know, that rape joke totally took me off guard and I kind of loved it. I'm odd.

The Winner:

I don’t really think you can top a movie that has mobsters, gangs, stab wounds, blues clubs, blind friends who think rats are cats, and an opening scene featuring the song “And Then He Kissed Me” by The Crystals. But then again, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead had the story arc of all the kids becoming better people, a kick-ass fashion show, and the cuter guy.

Oh who can decide, honestly! Watch 'em both!

a date

10 Fictional Characters I’d Date

After being inspired by EW’s “TV Characters You’d Date”, I spent way too much time thinking over my own list. I decided to expand the qualifications a bit (to movies, basically). Sigh… some boys are just too dreamy….

10. The Narrator from Fight Club (played by Edward Norton): OK. This one would be more of a tryst. A really hot, sexy one, no? This guy is seriously batshit insane—but to use an very trite phrase, he just looked so good being so bad. I’d say more about what he does in the movie, but you know the first rule of Fight Club, so I’ll just go on.

9. Han Solo (from Star Wars, duh): Thinking about it, I could pick a number of Harrison Ford movies (Indiana Jones, The Fugitive, etc.) in which I’d like to date him. So I kind of just wanted to pick Ford himself, but that kind of defeats the concept of this list, doesn’t it? In the end, I decided Han wins out, as a roguish smuggler who gets mixed up with this kid named Luke. Through this unlikely happenstance, Han discovers being part of a group ain’t so bad, and we (the audience… of his life) get to see that he’s a smart, sarcastic reckless, amazing pilot with a heart of gold. Also, his best bud is a big, cuddly Wookiee. Aww.

8. Logan Echolls (from Veronica Mars): Oh Logan, you were Veronica’s obligatory psychotic jackass, and yet your love for her was epic. The duplicity of Logan made him one of the best characters on the show. Even though he started out as an organizer of bum fights, went on to boink his friend’s stepmom (granted she was a MILF to the max), and eventually became super emo kid, Logan still maintained his wit, charm, loyalty, and all-around awesomeness. And honestly, it’s amazing he even managed to function with all the f—ed up stuff that happened to him (his dad sleeping with, and then murdering his girlfriend, and his mom committing suicide is just the beginning), so I guess I can give him a little slack. Plus, he sure is cute.

7. Leopold (from Kate and Leopold): Hugh Jackman was the only redeeming quality of a pretty bad chick flick. Leopold accidentally gets transported through time from 1870s New York to modern day 2001 NYC. He’s like Mr. Darcy minus all the haughtiness, and man, does his charisma just ooze off the screen. It’s like, one look from Leo, and you would eat some of that disgusting fake-butter stuff he’s trying to sell you. And you’d enjoy it, dammit. Meg Ryan has had a lot of enticing male leads to fall in love with, but none come close to the perfection of prim and proper Leopold.

6. Zach Morris (from Saved by the Bell): Way totally cool and awesome, who could resist his pretty brown eyes and surfer-boy blonde hair? I mean, come on-- he had a cell phone in 1991! He was like a class clown/troublemaker in 2^nd grade that just never grew up, because even though he did some pretty underhanded things to his friends, he always repented with the utmost sincerity, that little rascal. Kelly never deserved such a guy, and I want my turn.

5. Marshall Eriksen (from How I Met Your Mother): He sings! He studies law! He always wins games! He slaps!! Marshall is the fun-loving, somewhat naïve, and always loyal best friend I’d want to someday marry. Or at least date.

4. William Thatcher (from A Knights Tale): I didn’t always like this movie, but the more times I watched (I have no idea why I kept watching it), the more I grew to love it (along with Heath Ledger’s character, William, of course). Underneath the silly, purposefully anachronistic popcorn fare of a film lies a moving character study of a boy who grows up and does achieve his seemingly elusive dream. His wish to be a knight is so pure and noble, and his love runs so deep for his friends and family, that William is truly a hero for the ages.

3. Coach Eric Taylor (from Friday Night Lights): If there were such of a thing as a FILF, Eric Taylor would be it. He’s not perfect, but he tries so hard, and whenever he does succeed in being Awesome Dad or Husband or Coach, I swear my uterus gives a little jump. Like, marry me, Mr. Taylor. I’ve never seen any squinty-eyed guy look so good in a blue polo and southern accent. Oh, and his hair! It’s so emotive, I think it deserves its own show.

2. Edward Cullen (from Twilight): Otherworldly good looks (literally), a genuinely good disposition, intelligent, athletic (as in, insanely fast and strong), and a loving heart (if only it beat), Edward is perfect. Except for the fact that he’s a vampire.

1. Jim Halpert (from The Office): You know, since Jim is actually human, I thought he should get the number one spot. He’s nearly perfect, and, in fact, his lack of ambition is part of what makes him so charming. We would have so much fun pulling pranks on Dwight and making faces at the camera over the crazy stuff Michael says. We’d fall into a comfortable relationship, but his humor and thoughtfulness would keep it from being boring. I’d work in any office if he were my desk buddy.

a summer distraction

[Ah...the face of a defeated man...]

What better way to whittle away those glaring, hot summer days than a marathon of your favorite TV show? And in case you have commitment issues… here are 4 shows that will last you just approximately 24 hours. After you finish and your eyes are bleeding, you can discard the show forevermore (but I don’t think you’ll want to) because either the show didn’t go beyond one season, or the later seasons pretty much sucked. A marathon with a definite end point. Win-win.

What inspired this little project is a recent viewing of the movie “The TV Set” (2006), which I caught on Showtime today. Synopsis from IMDB: “A television network is making a pilot of Mike's quirky comedy based on the aftermath of his brother's suicide. As the network suits ask for change after change, and as Mike struggles with compromise, there are strains on families, execs who show rushes to their children, leads who feel each other out, and assistants who put a smile on everything. Can an honest show get made in the world of reality TV chasing an audience of teen-aged boys?” The answer is no. It was good and funny, but depressing as hell. Pretty much summing it up, Mike says: “If I don't worry about the content in my show, then I'm part of the problem. I'm making the world more mediocre!” It’s amazing any quality shows get made. But then, those that do, are cancelled anyway as these 4 shows prove.

So, anyway, I'll do one show a day, probably. Enjoy!

(first up is Veronica Mars, coming up tomorrow)

a sure thing

Can many people still say they’re a Will Smith fan? Yea, he’s literally the biggest movie star in the world (and he’s worked hard for that). Yes, we all love him and think he's a good guy. Most importantly, he is as close to a sure thing as possible in terms of movie blockbusters. The Fourth of July: BBQs, fireworks, and a Will Smith movie. We know we will be entertained. Perhaps even enthralled. Cool one-liners, big explosions. Hoo-Rah. Exciting stuff!

Yet… watching his movies has become more of a habit than anything else. We don’t fervently YouTube clips from his movies the weeks leading up to the premiere. We don’t eagerly covet the DVD to add to our collection. The buzz around his films have nowhere to go but down after the opening weekend. We know that the big screen will provide adequate entertainment for a couple of hours, but beyond that, once the lights go up in the theater, Will Smith will reside in the back of our minds until next summer.

He tried, and succeeded to some extent, in changing our perception of him with In the Pursuit of Happiness. But you know, none of us really doubted his talent to begin with, so the whole undertaking seems kind of moot in the end.

And now, with Hancock, well, here was something that could have been interesting. Since I haven’t actually seen the movie, I won’t attempt to review it, uh, obviously. I can’t help but feel, however, that Hancock is already a disappointment.

It’s one of the first movies of his in a while that had the potential to bomb. Will is a superhero—but he’s a sucky person. Alcoholic, grumpy, mean. Possibly adulterous. (You know, if anyone could pull that off and still manage to be likeable at the end of the film, it’d be Will.) The movie is meant to be a dark satire on the superhero genre… but then with The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Hellboy, and The Dark Knight coming out this summer, satire and dark comedy doesn’t seem like it’d sell very well. The Fourth of July is for family-fun entertainment, dammit. So I think it could have bombed, in terms of blockbuster standards.

If it had stayed true to the original script, that is.

Will Smith was really taking a risk with this one. How long had the script been floating around, as something that was brilliant, but could never be made into a movie? (A while.) How many re-writes did it have to have? (Many.) How many directors? (A lot) How many scenes needed to be cut to bring it down to a PG-13 rating? (Uh… you get the point.) Somehow, in the end, the studio managed to turn Hancock, the alcoholic antihero, into an acceptable face to put on kids’ lunch boxes.

So what started out as a risky endeavor will never actually make it to the theaters. Even the trailer makes it more about the funny fluff than substance. (Though I will argue, that whale throwing scene and making a little girl cry is really pretty dark stuff if you think about it. It’s amazing what zippy shots and bombastic music in a trailer can do.)

With great risk comes great rewards. While the movie is now a sure hit in terms of dollars, a rated R Will Smith movie could have been really fascinating. With the amount of scenes reportedly cut, it’s amazing if the story still manages to be coherent, which I guess is something in itself, yet it’s frustrating that it could be so much more.

This weekend, Will Smith will be the awesome action hero we all know and love, and millions will go see him (myself included). I’ll enjoy it, I’m sure, but in the back of my mind, I’ll keep thinking about what could have been.

the cutting edge

I'm a cheap person. I steal napkins from McDonalds. When I go grocery shopping, I compare the unit price of items to make sure I'm maximizing my spending dollars (I don't remember how much that bag of cookies cost, but I know each individual one is worth 8.2 cents).

But there are some things I think are worth paying for. Like car washes or going to hair salons without the words "super" or "cuts" in the title. And now, I add to that list, Venus razors. [Or other brand equivalents. I'm not picky.]

Because that extra blade apparently makes ALL the difference between heaven and hell for my legs.

So this discovery came at the cost of my frugalness. I was doing that unit price compare thing at the grocery store the other day and Daisy razors happened to be like 10 cents cheaper. Usually I'd buy Venus anyway, but I always thought razors are overpriced in general (they make the handles so excessively nice for a product you throw away after a week), so I thought, why the hell not try a Daisy? Can't be that much worse, right?!

God! I never realized how spoiled I was with the Venus! The pillowy head would glide over my skin and the triple blade actions would cut smooth and close, leaving me stubble-free for a day or two. Never any nicks.

But this cheap, pink contraption? Inferior in every way and feeling dull half-way through the first usage. It scrapes along unwillingly, leaving your legs feeling itchy and not nearly as smooth after, even with generous amounts of shaving cream. The lack of contouring really makes shaving your knees a nightmare, too. Crazy!

Easier and Better? I don't think so, Daisy.

Like I said, some things, you just can't skimp on.

And since it's Wednesday:



Enjoy!

And stop procrastinating so you can get your stuff done. Or rent "The Cutting Edge" (1992). I promise, 100 minutes well spent if you're looking for a light, summer distraction.

the sequel: part 2

Remember The Fast and the Furious way back when? And then they had that sequel which sucked even more. And Vin Disel was too big of a star for it? And then they had the third movie, set in Tokyo with no one famous in it, to spice things up?

Well, number four's coming out next summer, cleverly named Fast and Furious. With the original cast in all it's glory. Hooray. I guess Vin Disel wasn't too busy making The Pacifier 2 or anything.

School of Rock might have a sequel too.

In the words of brilliantly bizarre David Lynch: "In a way, there's no original ideas -- it's just the ideas that you caught."

Doesn't mean you can't keep trying to catch interesting ideas, Hollywood.

But then again, I am insanely excited for The Dark Knight, so what can I say.

Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?