oh no

I’m really really really tired of superhero movies. Before The Dark Knight came out, I thought anyone who said that was just full of himself, but now… I just don’t care about them anymore too. “Just don’t watch them!” you say? Well, yes, that would be a good solution, but despite the fact that I’m beginning to develop a gag reflex to their posters and trailers and internet rumors, I still can’t stay away. And somehow it still hurts my heart when I hear news like this:

Group President Jeff Robinov confirmed to The Wall Street Journal that they plan on rebooting the franchise, a'la The Incredible Hulk. "Superman [Returns] didn't quite work as a film in the way that we wanted it to," says Robinov. "It didn't position the character the way he needed to be positioned. Had Superman worked in 2006, we would have had a movie for Christmas of this year or 2009. But now the plan is just to reintroduce Superman without regard to a Batman and Superman movie at all."

The plan is to release four comic book movies in the next three years -- including a third Batman (no word on whether Nolan is returning), a new Superman, and two other unnamed DC characters. Robinov also confirmed that Warner Bros plans to adopt the Marvel route of a single film for each character, and then building on those origin films to create crossover stories, rather than just jumping into the deep end of the Justice League pool. The only worrying part about Warner Bros new plan is that they are still drunk on The Dark Knight, and want their superhero films to follow that mold. Robinov feels that "exploring the evil side to characters" is the way to approach all the DC characters. "We're going to try to go dark to the extent that the characters allow it." Including Superman.

Guess what, guys! After they suck the well dry of individual superhero stories, we’re going to get crossover movies! See, Batman’s awesome. Superman’s awesome. Make a few movies “developing” those characters… put them together… shake well… and BAM. A summer blockbuster to blow your mind hole.

But seriously, how many times can we retread the origins of Superman?! And why must it always be DARKER! I’m so over this “Yes, I may be super strong, fast, intelligent, and heroic, but man, I got issues. I’m hurtin’.” Is Superman really a dark character? The difference between Batman and Supes is that “Superman” is just a persona. The guy deep down is really just Clark Kent. But for Batman, Bruce Wayne is the cover story. Batman is… Batman.

I’m not too crazy about a Superman reboot. I think Returns sucks, but I also can’t really imagine Superman working in any other context because he’s so iconic. His all-American red and blue costume reflects an earlier time that doesn’t really lend itself to the dark and mature audience the movie will go for. If you’re going to do Superman, embrace the fact he’s the all-around hero of our childhood. We don’t love him for his flaws. We love him because he’s a fucking superhero.

ETA: You know, looking at the picture I posted, they both just look so ridiculous. It kind of puts things into perspective, I think. Get over yourselves, movies.