Oh Nate. You are an enigma, but not the good kind. After a whole season of Gossip Girl, I still have no idea what your personality is. You’re kind of just there so that Chuck doesn’t have to talk in monologues, to create vapid tension between Blair and Serena (and you don’t even do that anymore), or to be a (literal?) manwhore. Stop taking screen time away from the interesting characters (ie. all the other teens)! Maybe you should just stand next to whoever is talking so I can still get the pretty, without the dumb plotlines. See, in any given situation, I still have no idea how you’d react or feel about it. That’s… not good. I demand more quality character development from my TV shows, Gossip Girl!
(If this were an email, I’d probably CC this note to Rufus and Lily, too.)
Scene: Blair’s mom has remarried, and Blair is introducing her new dreadlocked, hippie stepbrother, Aaron, to her friends.
Blair: [to Aaron] …So this is civics class.
Aaron: Cool.
Blair: Hey everyone. This is my stepbrother Aaron. [rolls eyes]
Serena: Hey Aaron! Nice to meet you! Welcome to Constance!
Dan: Hi Aaron, nice to meet you. I’m Dan. Good luck living with Blair. You’ll definitely need it. [ha, I’m hilarious]
Blair: [rolls eyes]
Chuck: Yea, if you’re not careful, Blair might go Cruel Intentions on you. [Sneers]
Dan: Wow, I’m so glad you can add something to this conversation, Chuck. Your intellect is really staggering.
Chuck: Listen, Daniel... I--
Serena: [cuts Chuck off] So Aaron! How do you like New York?
[Chuck continues to sneer]
Aaron: I dig it.
Serena: That’s great!
Blair: Please. He hasn’t even seen it yet. All he does is smoke his hippie ganja-whatever in his room all day. Which is, like, so lame, BTW. [rolls eyes]
Serena: [whispers] Give him a chance, Blair. He seems like a really nice guy!
Vanessa: Hi Aaron, I'm Vanessa. If you'd like, I could show you around the city. I know this great art museum with a lot of interpretive art.
Aaron: Thanks. That'd be cool.
Jenny: Oh my God, that’s such an awesome shirt Aaron. Where’d you get it? [I wonder if he’s into the bohemian scene. It would be so cool if I could get in with them. Ok, after school, I’ll happen to run into him at the park and…]
Eric: Uh, Jenny, we’re not even in this class. Shouldn’t we get going? The bell rang like, five minutes ago.
Jenny: Hold on, let’s just stay for a few more minutes!
Aaron: Uh, I made this shirt, actually.
Jenny: Wow! That's so cool! You know, I make my own clothes too!
Serena: There’s a black and white party tonight, Aaron. Do you want to come?
Dan: What! You didn’t tell me about that!
Serena: Yes I did! Yesterday!
Dan: Oh, sorry, I’m just used to you not telling me stuff.
[Dan and Serena start to make out]
Blair: [rolls eyes]
Gossip Girl: Looks like B has a new playmate. Things might start to get a little tense in the sandbox this year….
End Scene.
See? What would Nate have to say?? Who knows!
Who cares.
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