i just called... to say...

I never really went through a rebellious teenager stage. I guess partly because of my inherent personality, and partly because my parents never really gave me a reason to. Like, I never had a curfew, but I never really stayed out all night either.

Have you ever noticed often in life you don’t say what you think? A lot of the times it’s because you simply can’t say them. I’m a pretty sentimental creature, but even I have trouble being all sincere and touchy-feely with my emotions in conversation. So I guess when I talk to my parents, I disguise all my complements in vague insults. Instead of saying, “Thanks for giving me such a well-rounded, stable life,” I say, “I used to get annoyed that nothing tragic really happened to me. Like, my life is so dull. In 7th grade, when we had to do a timeline for our life in social studies, it was really hard to think up things to put on it! I guess you guys just gave me such a stable environment. Haha. Which I’m thankful for, of course. But… you know….”

So I feel like I’m strongly suggesting that they are in fact good parents, but like anyone, what they really need is straight-forward validation. My mom asked me point-blank at dinner the other night whether I felt like I had a good childhood. “I guess you have a lot of complaints, but was there anything your father and I did right?” At that point I started to feel a little guilty that I had never expressed my gratitude enough. “Yes,” I say, blushing into my drink. “I mean, you guys are really good parents. Like I told you before about how I would get frustrated because I could never win an argument since you guys were so reasonable,” yeah, I threw in another insult/complement. “I never wanted any other parents, though. I always thought you guys were the best.”

“Aw…” they say. “We always thought you were the best daughter… blah blah blah,” and at that point I’m pretty embarrassed. So mushy. Ick.

But I’m thankful for that moment. So many times people express regret about how they didn’t tell someone they love them, or how much a person means to them.

I meant what I said, and I’m really glad I got a chance to say it.