thinking at the mcdonald's drive-thru

Fall. Autumn. The season so nice they named it twice. New Years day isn’t until January 1st, but to me, the new year always starts in September. Yesterday I woke up and went out to get some breakfast, and outside my door was Fall. The sky was completely milked over with pure white clouds, and the day looked as if it was a painting, and the artist had not yet finished coloring. The world had never looked so infinite as it did as a blank piece of paper.

There’s something refreshing about this time of the year, when all the kids are starting to go back to school and the leaves turn crispy brown, like paper bags falling to the ground. I feel like my (imaginary) lover should send me a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils and a box of scotch tape. Spring is the season of rebirth, but there’s nothing like a gust of cold wind slapping you across the face to make you feel alive.

you're pretty, but dull

Oh Nate. You are an enigma, but not the good kind. After a whole season of Gossip Girl, I still have no idea what your personality is. You’re kind of just there so that Chuck doesn’t have to talk in monologues, to create vapid tension between Blair and Serena (and you don’t even do that anymore), or to be a (literal?) manwhore. Stop taking screen time away from the interesting characters (ie. all the other teens)! Maybe you should just stand next to whoever is talking so I can still get the pretty, without the dumb plotlines. See, in any given situation, I still have no idea how you’d react or feel about it. That’s… not good. I demand more quality character development from my TV shows, Gossip Girl!

(If this were an email, I’d probably CC this note to Rufus and Lily, too.)

Scene: Blair’s mom has remarried, and Blair is introducing her new dreadlocked, hippie stepbrother, Aaron, to her friends.

Blair: [to Aaron] …So this is civics class.

Aaron: Cool.

Blair: Hey everyone. This is my stepbrother Aaron. [rolls eyes]

Serena: Hey Aaron! Nice to meet you! Welcome to Constance!

Dan: Hi Aaron, nice to meet you. I’m Dan. Good luck living with Blair. You’ll definitely need it. [ha, I’m hilarious]

Blair: [rolls eyes]

Chuck: Yea, if you’re not careful, Blair might go Cruel Intentions on you. [Sneers]

Dan: Wow, I’m so glad you can add something to this conversation, Chuck. Your intellect is really staggering.

Chuck: Listen, Daniel... I--

Serena: [cuts Chuck off] So Aaron! How do you like New York?

[Chuck continues to sneer]

Aaron: I dig it.

Serena: That’s great!

Blair: Please. He hasn’t even seen it yet. All he does is smoke his hippie ganja-whatever in his room all day. Which is, like, so lame, BTW. [rolls eyes]

Serena: [whispers] Give him a chance, Blair. He seems like a really nice guy!

Vanessa: Hi Aaron, I'm Vanessa. If you'd like, I could show you around the city. I know this great art museum with a lot of interpretive art.

Aaron: Thanks. That'd be cool.

Jenny: Oh my God, that’s such an awesome shirt Aaron. Where’d you get it? [I wonder if he’s into the bohemian scene. It would be so cool if I could get in with them. Ok, after school, I’ll happen to run into him at the park and…]

Eric: Uh, Jenny, we’re not even in this class. Shouldn’t we get going? The bell rang like, five minutes ago.

Jenny: Hold on, let’s just stay for a few more minutes!

Aaron: Uh, I made this shirt, actually.

Jenny: Wow! That's so cool! You know, I make my own clothes too!

Serena: There’s a black and white party tonight, Aaron. Do you want to come?

Dan: What! You didn’t tell me about that!

Serena: Yes I did! Yesterday!

Dan: Oh, sorry, I’m just used to you not telling me stuff.

[Dan and Serena start to make out]

Blair: [rolls eyes]

Gossip Girl: Looks like B has a new playmate. Things might start to get a little tense in the sandbox this year….

End Scene.

See? What would Nate have to say?? Who knows!
Who cares.

ode to ferrero rocher

So remarkable as to elicit disbelief—
You luscious, creamy, chocolaty confection,
Surrounding wafer and hazel nut.
I think your gilded wrapper more precious
Than the purest gold.
Looking ahead, I relish Christmastime
When I will receive you as a generic gift
From lazy office co-workers
And distant relatives from out-of-town.
I take small nibbles to enjoy your textures.
I pop you whole because I just can’t help myself.
Yea, you are pretty delicious.

the hills

Oh my God, you guys, I am like totally addicted to The Hills. The first season, it could be counted on as a guilty pleasure, but now, in the 4th (!) season, it’s just… sick. I’m just one step away from putting on my fluffy pink bathrobe and watching a marathon of Living Lohan all day. The horror, the horror!

I want it to stop so badly, but I need MTV to stop making new episodes because I won’t stop otherwise. It makes me wonder, why am I still so addicted to this show? I don’t even enjoy watching it (it’s totally beyond that so bad it’s good factor—it’s definitely just bad), and nothing ever happens so it’s not a great talking point either. It also annoyingly perpetuates the stereotype that all people do in LA is party (and anyway, I heard that NY is like 1000x more social). Do I watch the show because I identify with their ordinary, mundane lives? Does it make me feel better knowing that even with all that money and fame Lauren’s life is essentially vapid, tedious, and pointless?

Paris Hilton is so last year, and Lauren is totally this year’s pseudo-celebrity I enjoy hating on. Someone brilliantly renamed "The Hills" to "LC and the Seven Bland Dwarfs": Vacant (Audrina), Dopey (Whitney), Dirty (Justin Bobby), Plastic (Heidi), Slimey (Spencer), Douchey (Brody) and Bitter (Lo). And that right there is so spot on I can’t believe it.

Whenever The Hills finally does end, though, I think I’ll feel a bit like I lost touch with a friend. Not that I like Lauren or any of her friends, but the voyeuristic part of me, I guess, kind of enjoys being able to watch a lose reality show based on someone else’s life. Morbid curiosity. Vicarious thrill. I never really think of her as a celebrity since I know her from a “reality show” where we’re to assume that we are watching someone live their ordinary life. In an embarrassing way, it is like I know her. But honestly, she’s one of my dullest friends.

i just called... to say...

I never really went through a rebellious teenager stage. I guess partly because of my inherent personality, and partly because my parents never really gave me a reason to. Like, I never had a curfew, but I never really stayed out all night either.

Have you ever noticed often in life you don’t say what you think? A lot of the times it’s because you simply can’t say them. I’m a pretty sentimental creature, but even I have trouble being all sincere and touchy-feely with my emotions in conversation. So I guess when I talk to my parents, I disguise all my complements in vague insults. Instead of saying, “Thanks for giving me such a well-rounded, stable life,” I say, “I used to get annoyed that nothing tragic really happened to me. Like, my life is so dull. In 7th grade, when we had to do a timeline for our life in social studies, it was really hard to think up things to put on it! I guess you guys just gave me such a stable environment. Haha. Which I’m thankful for, of course. But… you know….”

So I feel like I’m strongly suggesting that they are in fact good parents, but like anyone, what they really need is straight-forward validation. My mom asked me point-blank at dinner the other night whether I felt like I had a good childhood. “I guess you have a lot of complaints, but was there anything your father and I did right?” At that point I started to feel a little guilty that I had never expressed my gratitude enough. “Yes,” I say, blushing into my drink. “I mean, you guys are really good parents. Like I told you before about how I would get frustrated because I could never win an argument since you guys were so reasonable,” yeah, I threw in another insult/complement. “I never wanted any other parents, though. I always thought you guys were the best.”

“Aw…” they say. “We always thought you were the best daughter… blah blah blah,” and at that point I’m pretty embarrassed. So mushy. Ick.

But I’m thankful for that moment. So many times people express regret about how they didn’t tell someone they love them, or how much a person means to them.

I meant what I said, and I’m really glad I got a chance to say it.

while you're ahead

I really hate Hollywood sometimes. Did anyone see Wanted? It was an OK movie. Entertaining but not mind-blowing, and thoughtful but not poignant. It works well as a stand alone movie, and has (I think) a very conclusive ending, but OF COURSE there's going to be TWO MORE sequels now. STOP MAKING UNNECESSARY SEQUELS.

And I really have no more to say. I just had to rant a little.

happy labor day

"You watch Avatar?!"

"I love Avatar! I love Prince Zuko!!"

"Yeah?"

"Oh yea, he's every girl's dream! You know, the hot, tortured-soul type. And he's a decent fighter to boot."

"Um, I guess. But he's a cartoon."

"You should see how I get about real-life fictional characters."

"Haha. But don't you ever fall for a guy you actually know?"

"Mmm... Yeah. But real boys are harder to love."

"Why?"

"Because they can break your heart."