responsibly irresponsible

I finally saw Adventures in Babysitting the other day, and I do believe it has become my newest guilty pleasure. Sometimes I wish they still made movies like this. Sweet and completely over-the-top. Complete with 80’s fashion. Naturally, I also thought of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, which came a little later, but has the same charm, and coincidentally even has the same actor (Keith Coogan). I highly recommend either of these for a cozy rainy afternoon in, but since it’s sunny Southern California, you might only have time for one of them. Solution? Sudden death!

Adventures in Babysitting vs. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead

Plot:

AiB: (1987) staring Elisabeth Shue (of Karate Kid fame) as reluctant babysitter 17 year old Chris. Her d-baggy boyfriend stands her up so she takes a babysitting gig taking care of annoying 8ish year old Sara and Sara’s 15 year old brother, Brad (Coogan), who has a crush on her. Brad’s best friend also decides to hang out with the gang. Chris’s best friend runs away from home, then freaks out, so Chris has to go to the city to get her friend back home to the suburbs. She’s forced to take the kids along with her, hilarious hijinks ensue, and it turns into one crazy night!

DTMtBD: (1991) staring Christina Applegate as reluctant 18 year old babysitter/mother, Sue Ellen, to her 3 younger siblings. Coogan plays the oldest sib, Kenny, who’s a pothead loser. Mom is off for a few weeks, and the babysitter she hired for her four kids dies. The kids then decide they’ll keep the dead babysitter thing under wraps because they don’t want Mom to come home, and lazy, irresponsible Sue Ellen is forced to get a job to support the brats for a few weeks (since all the food money is buried with dead babysitter). She fakes a resume and eventually gets hired at a big company that makes uniforms, and she surprises everyone, including herself, by growing up.

Round 1: DTMtBD: it has a mouthful for a name, but you must admit it's catchy. And you know, I'm a sucker for coming of age stories, like this one essentially is.

The Badies:

AiB: A tire blows out on their way into the city, and eventually they stumble across mobsters running a car ring. They escape, but the mobsters keep chasing them relentlessly. Yikes! The city is also full of men with hooked hands, gangsters from Michael Jackson’s music video, and frat boys.

DTMtBD: A receptionist where Sue Ellen works hates Sue Ellen because she wanted the position SE got. She tries to uncover SE as a fraud with the help of a co-worker, who's also her boyfriend (?). Also, Sue Ellen’s bratty sibs don’t make it easier for her.

Round 2: AiB: Even though the other one has David Ducovony as the villain (he looks hilarious), I seriously LOVED the gangsters they meet on the train, and even the mobsters who write their notes in their Playboy magazines.

The Boy:

AiB: Chris is hot, so naturally when they all run into a house with a frat party going on at the U of Chicago, she attracts some male attention. A guy takes a liking to her in a very sincere way and even gets Chris the $50 bucks she needs to fix their flat-tired car by snapping his fingers. It’s ridiculous and it’s awesome. And he doesn’t even ruin it by asking for her number or making a move. But of course (spoiler alert!), at the end of the movie, he arrives at her house all charming and perfect-like.

DTMtBD: Sue Ellen likes a guy that works at a fast food hot dog place. They go on a cute date. Turns out, though, that his sister is the mean receptionist, so SE has to keep her job a secret, making hot dog guy suspicious. Oh no! But after a totally AWESOME fashion show Sue Ellen puts on, the air is cleared, and SE gets to make out with Mr. Hot Dog.

Round 3: DTMtBD: Mr. Hot Dog, a.k.a. Bryan seemed more like a type of guy you could actually date, even with his dorky costume. I mean, what kind of college guy gives a girl $50, leaves a party to help her out, and then shows up at her doorstep later that night to return a roller skate? Maybe I'm just cynical, but his chivalry was... odd.

Best Quotes:

AiB: Daryl is Brad’s best friend—the tag-along. He's also a bit infatuated with Chris.

Chris: Now boys, if either of you give me any grief, I swear to God I’ll kill you. Dead... murdered... stabbed.

Daryl: Raped?

Chris: …I’m too old for this crap.

And another favorite:

Gang Leader: Don’t fuck with the Lords of Hell!

Chris: Don’t FUCK with the BABYSITTER!!

DTMtBD: I haven’t seen this one in a while, so none really come up off the top of my head, although SE arguing with Kenny was a definite highlight. Um… this was a good line:

[Sue Ellen’s boss] Rose Lindsey: Sue Ellen, have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm?

Sue Ellen: [awkwardly] No… I’ve never been to Santa Barbara!!

Round 4: AiB: I don't know, that rape joke totally took me off guard and I kind of loved it. I'm odd.

The Winner:

I don’t really think you can top a movie that has mobsters, gangs, stab wounds, blues clubs, blind friends who think rats are cats, and an opening scene featuring the song “And Then He Kissed Me” by The Crystals. But then again, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead had the story arc of all the kids becoming better people, a kick-ass fashion show, and the cuter guy.

Oh who can decide, honestly! Watch 'em both!

sexually frustrated

Angelina Jolie wants to save the world country by country, child by child. And now, she’s decided to become the first Hollywood female action star. Per Variety: Angelina Jolie replaces Tom Cruise (seriously) in “Edwin A. Salt,” thriller about a spy falsely accused of defecting. The main character will undergo sex change to accommodate (obviously). “After Universal beefed up Jolie's role in Wanted and then marketed the action film squarely on Jolie's shoulders and watched it gross $132 million domestically, Jolie reestablished, in the wake of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith," that she is the rare female who is viable in the action genre.”

I must say Jolie grows on me each passing year. Despite her… oddities… I can’t help but admire she’s somehow able to have it all. Beauty and sophistication, a charitable heart, a minivan (ha—could you imagine her in one?) full of kids, Brad freakin’ Pitt as a partner, (relative) talent…. If she weren’t such a superstar already, I’d probably admit to being a fan.

I always liked the type of girl who could rough it with the guys. Betty over Veronica. Mary Ann over Ginger. Katherine Hepburn over Audrey. Those type of girls just seemed to have their priorities straight. They won guys over with their athleticism, charm, or wit. They didn’t wait around for anyone to take care of them.

Admittedly, I do have a soft spot for Marilyn Monroe, but people who look up to her as an idol honestly make me a little sick. I’m thinking of you, Miss Lohan. I mean, seriously? She was a deeply troubled woman. Hollywood shaped her into this beautiful, confused empty vessel. A sex symbol who got so lost in her own image, I think she quite forgot who she was. Such a waste for a talented, intelligent woman. I mean, not that I knew her or anything, but whenever I think of Marilyn Monroe, I think of something Lauren Bacall [pictured above] once said. Talking to MM on set one day, MM tells her that she would like nothing more in the world than to be eating pizza in New York with Joe DiMaggio. And Lauren Bacall’s internal reaction is, you silly girl, how sad. There’s just not much going on with her, you know?

And this pretty much summarizes what’s wrong with how Hollywood treats its women:

There’s a comic strip from the series Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel. The strip was called "The Rule" and it was about a character who explained that she only went to movies that met three criteria:

1. Two of the characters had to be women --
2. Who talked with each other --
3. About something other than a man.

How many movies can you think of that fit The Rule?

woefully uninspired

Hello August! The above is a picture of Forks, WA in celebration of a certain book that comes out today. So... I'll be working on finishing that today.

Anyway, I'm feeling completely uninspired to write lately. I was looking over my, uh, past writings, for possible topics to write about and here's something I wrote on July 12th:

God, tonight-- this whole day, actually-- I just feel like shit. I feel useless and directionless, and panicky about the future. I made that oath that I would start to "live for the moment," but that kind of thinking doesn't work when you actually want to be successful. Success takes planning. More importantly, it takes good execution; so while I'm stressing myself out constantly thinking about the future, making contingency plans, building myself up to succeed… what if in the end I'm just not meant to? The worst possible thing has happened to me: I’ve become ambitious. This is a problem as I am still devastatingly directionless.

I'm worried that my personality will hold me back. And your personality is the hardest thing to change about yourself. I’m too lazy, too introverted, lack conviction. I feel like I don’t instill a sense of trust in people. I tend to lose my “fire” over time, where, after fighting for something for so long, I begin to doubt if what I’m fighting for is worth it. I'm worried that I can just become complacent and stop wanting things out of life, and therefore never get... anything. I’ll never get anywhere. When none of your dreams have ever come true, maybe it's best just to stop dreaming.

And looking back on it, I'm glad to say I now feel completely disconnected from all those feelings I put into that past entry. Or maybe it just means I'm not a very good writer since I can't manage to convey the amount of anxiety i was feeling at the time. But anyway, my point is, that I actually woke up yesterday and thought, "I really love life." That was literally the first thought in my head. Strange, because nothing that great is even happening to me, and there are still some quite suck-tastic aspects of it, but overall, I'm staying pretty... cheerful.

Yay.

Of course, I haven't lost my cynicism completely since I now see why so many writers chose to be of the tortured-soul variety. Being cheerful all the time makes writing seem like somewhat of a chore.

a date

10 Fictional Characters I’d Date

After being inspired by EW’s “TV Characters You’d Date”, I spent way too much time thinking over my own list. I decided to expand the qualifications a bit (to movies, basically). Sigh… some boys are just too dreamy….

10. The Narrator from Fight Club (played by Edward Norton): OK. This one would be more of a tryst. A really hot, sexy one, no? This guy is seriously batshit insane—but to use an very trite phrase, he just looked so good being so bad. I’d say more about what he does in the movie, but you know the first rule of Fight Club, so I’ll just go on.

9. Han Solo (from Star Wars, duh): Thinking about it, I could pick a number of Harrison Ford movies (Indiana Jones, The Fugitive, etc.) in which I’d like to date him. So I kind of just wanted to pick Ford himself, but that kind of defeats the concept of this list, doesn’t it? In the end, I decided Han wins out, as a roguish smuggler who gets mixed up with this kid named Luke. Through this unlikely happenstance, Han discovers being part of a group ain’t so bad, and we (the audience… of his life) get to see that he’s a smart, sarcastic reckless, amazing pilot with a heart of gold. Also, his best bud is a big, cuddly Wookiee. Aww.

8. Logan Echolls (from Veronica Mars): Oh Logan, you were Veronica’s obligatory psychotic jackass, and yet your love for her was epic. The duplicity of Logan made him one of the best characters on the show. Even though he started out as an organizer of bum fights, went on to boink his friend’s stepmom (granted she was a MILF to the max), and eventually became super emo kid, Logan still maintained his wit, charm, loyalty, and all-around awesomeness. And honestly, it’s amazing he even managed to function with all the f—ed up stuff that happened to him (his dad sleeping with, and then murdering his girlfriend, and his mom committing suicide is just the beginning), so I guess I can give him a little slack. Plus, he sure is cute.

7. Leopold (from Kate and Leopold): Hugh Jackman was the only redeeming quality of a pretty bad chick flick. Leopold accidentally gets transported through time from 1870s New York to modern day 2001 NYC. He’s like Mr. Darcy minus all the haughtiness, and man, does his charisma just ooze off the screen. It’s like, one look from Leo, and you would eat some of that disgusting fake-butter stuff he’s trying to sell you. And you’d enjoy it, dammit. Meg Ryan has had a lot of enticing male leads to fall in love with, but none come close to the perfection of prim and proper Leopold.

6. Zach Morris (from Saved by the Bell): Way totally cool and awesome, who could resist his pretty brown eyes and surfer-boy blonde hair? I mean, come on-- he had a cell phone in 1991! He was like a class clown/troublemaker in 2^nd grade that just never grew up, because even though he did some pretty underhanded things to his friends, he always repented with the utmost sincerity, that little rascal. Kelly never deserved such a guy, and I want my turn.

5. Marshall Eriksen (from How I Met Your Mother): He sings! He studies law! He always wins games! He slaps!! Marshall is the fun-loving, somewhat naïve, and always loyal best friend I’d want to someday marry. Or at least date.

4. William Thatcher (from A Knights Tale): I didn’t always like this movie, but the more times I watched (I have no idea why I kept watching it), the more I grew to love it (along with Heath Ledger’s character, William, of course). Underneath the silly, purposefully anachronistic popcorn fare of a film lies a moving character study of a boy who grows up and does achieve his seemingly elusive dream. His wish to be a knight is so pure and noble, and his love runs so deep for his friends and family, that William is truly a hero for the ages.

3. Coach Eric Taylor (from Friday Night Lights): If there were such of a thing as a FILF, Eric Taylor would be it. He’s not perfect, but he tries so hard, and whenever he does succeed in being Awesome Dad or Husband or Coach, I swear my uterus gives a little jump. Like, marry me, Mr. Taylor. I’ve never seen any squinty-eyed guy look so good in a blue polo and southern accent. Oh, and his hair! It’s so emotive, I think it deserves its own show.

2. Edward Cullen (from Twilight): Otherworldly good looks (literally), a genuinely good disposition, intelligent, athletic (as in, insanely fast and strong), and a loving heart (if only it beat), Edward is perfect. Except for the fact that he’s a vampire.

1. Jim Halpert (from The Office): You know, since Jim is actually human, I thought he should get the number one spot. He’s nearly perfect, and, in fact, his lack of ambition is part of what makes him so charming. We would have so much fun pulling pranks on Dwight and making faces at the camera over the crazy stuff Michael says. We’d fall into a comfortable relationship, but his humor and thoughtfulness would keep it from being boring. I’d work in any office if he were my desk buddy.

a tribulation

You know, there are some experiences that you go through that are just horrific. Usually you try to block them out as best as you can. But there are a few that you actually try to hold on to. The ones that didn’t kill you and actually made you stronger. Here’s one of my recent experiences:

I was looking for a job and found a posting for one online for a paid internship at a book publishing house. Back then, I was considering going into publishing, because it looked cool in Bridget Jones, and it’s a tough field, but journalism’s honestly probably tougher right now with all the newspapers downsizing fo'realz. It was an ideal internship. And it was paid.

Of course since it was such an awesome opportunity, I knew my chances of getting it, as a freshman in college with very minimum experience, was slim to none. I’ve had my writing published before, I worked in an office for about a year—I wasn’t totally unqualified, but I knew I was under qualified.

I arrive at the interview on time, in my best “hire me!” clothes. The problem is that I completely lack confidence. I am surprised they even want to interview me, and I just know from the moment I walk into the office that I am in way over my head. Luckily, I’d been on enough interviews before where I can stay pretty calm, and I already have most of my standard interview answers down pat, so I don’t fall apart completely.

I meet the woman who I would be working under. I am actually getting a little panicky. At the time, I was still working at Forever 21, and by crazy random happenstance, my interviewer had been shopping there last night. And she remembered me. Yikes. The thoughts running through my head? “Fuck! I was kind of lazy last night. Definitely not my A game. Was a friendly enough? I should have been friendlier. Did I smile enough? Fuck! Ok, maybe it’s a good thing. She’ll remember me better now. Is that a good thing? I don’t think I was friendly enough.”

The interview continues and she asks me why I want to get into publishing. I don’t know anything about publishing. I am forced to BS a totally rambling answer. I meet the boss. I forget his name instantly. We talk about books. I’ve actually read one of his favorite books! I do not mention that it was for school. (The book was Killer Angels, and I did not lie when I said I enjoyed it, at least.) He tells me about the office, what he does, what I’d do. I try to ask intelligent questions. He’s impressed by my resume, but I can tell that I’m too green to be an ideal candidate. I do not exude the confidence I want to because I’m still pretty scared shitless.

The boss finishes talking and asks if I have anything else to give him. “Huh?” I want to say. Instead I shrug and smile and say no. Not sure if that’s a better response. What else would I give him?! It’s now a little awkward. I thank him and he walks me to the elevator. We small talk, I thank him again, get into the elevator, and leave. Exhausted. On the car ride back, I wonder if I should have given him an article I wrote. I had a copy in my bag.

Writing my thank you letter back in my room, I still think maybe I should have given him a copy of my article. Something to make me more memorable. My cover letter was honestly not that great—I mostly copied a template. I did not emphasize my good qualities enough in it. I decide to include a copy of my article with my thank you letter. Is that a faux pas? I don’t know. Oh well. I kiss the seal and send it. My Peter Pan stamp sure was cute, but maybe it’s not businessy enough? After sending it off, I want to curl up and die in embarrassment.

A few days later I get an email telling me that I did not get the job. I am a little relieved.

It was a pretty weird, frightening experience. In the end, though, I was glad that I did it. Eventually, I would have had to do something like that. But probably not until, like, junior year right? I guess I can reassure myself with the fact that I was, despite my experience, too young for the job. A year ago, I wouldn’t have even bothered sending in my resume. But now… well, I hold onto this memory as a “Yes you can!” encouraging moment, and the worse thing I can do is never try. Failure doesn’t feel half as bad as regret.

a finale

Firefly (2002)

Status: Cancelled after 11 episodes; 14 episodes made (all on DVD)

Genre: sci-fi/western/drama/comedy/action

DVD extras: pretty good. Interesting commentary on a few episodes.

Basics: The series is set in the year 2517, when we’re no longer separated by continents or countries, but by planets, and follows the adventures of the renegade crew of Serenity, a Firefly-class spaceship. Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy the Vampire) pitched the show as "nine people looking into the blackness of space and seeing nine different things".

The show explores the lives of people who fought on the losing side of a civil war and now make a living on the outskirts of the society, as well as the pioneer/ wild west-like culture that exists on the fringes of their star system. In addition, it is a future where the only two surviving superpowers, the United States and China (they speak Chinese on the show sometimes—makes it fun and colorful, actually, if a little weird), fused to form the central federal government, called the Alliance, resulting in the fusion of the two cultures as well. According to Whedon's vision, "nothing will change in the future: technology will advance, but we will still have the same political, moral, and ethical problems as today."

The good: the cast. They are fun. Here we go:

Malcolm Reynolds (a.k.a. Mal)- the captain of Serenity. Fought in the war, which left him somewhat broken. Now his only goal is to keep his ship going. An enigmatic anti-hero figure, you might say.

Zoe: second in command; insanely loyal to Mal because they fought together in the war. She’s tough.

Walsh: the funny guy. The pilot. Zoe’s husband. (importance of role, not in any particular order, natch)

Inara: her job title is “Companion,” which essentially makes her a high class prostitute. Of course, she’s the only one making an honest living because everyone else on the ship gets paid by illegally trafficking stuff (and people) between planets. Mal kind of has a crush on her, and if he made a move, I don’t think she’d say no.

Jayne: hired muscle. His loyalty is the most questionable. Large and crude, he’s a lot of fun.

Kaylee: the sweet mechanic; the heart of the ship. She’s the best mechanic there is, and loves Serenity almost as much as Mal does.

Simon: a doctor (top 3%!) breed in the inner planets, the ones under Alliance control. He’s not really into the whole “outlaw” thing, but has become a fugitive because he broke his sister out of a government research facility where they fucked her up for sure. Now Simon and sis are on the run, and the crew of Serenity is nice enough to let them stay (it’s also handy to have a doctor on board). He likes Kaylee. She totally loves him. Simon’s problems with his sister, though, always seem to get in the way. Also, looks very good shirtless. Alas, we don't discover this until the very last episode. Damn.

River: the little sis of whom we speak. She’s kind of annoying at first, but the more you learn about her, the more fascinating she becomes.

Shepherd Book: he’s a priest/pastor/minister guy (they’re called “shepherds” in the future, apparently). Most of the time, he’s kind of just there. Had the series continued, I’m sure he’d have developed into something interesting. That leads me to my next point:

The bad: the fact that the series ended so soon. We have the seedlings of interesting characters, but we never get to fully go into their backstories. Inara and Book certainly had something very suspicious pasts. Such a shame.

The ugly: OK, I’m not really into sci-fi. Some of the episode weren’t that great, honestly. It kind of reminded me of those old Hercules and Xena shows; that’s the most similar thing I can think of.

Why it’s awesome: I think the idea of mixing the genres of sci-fi and westerns is brilliant. It works so well. The parallels between space and the wild west… you never think about it, you know? What really put this series over the top for me was the fact that Joss got to make a movie to finish off the show. And that movie is probably one of my favorite movies ever. I watched it more times than I like to admit. Brilliant direction and dialogue throughout the series.

Best episodes: “Shindig” is very Jane Austen (how cool is that?!), “Jaynestown” has that awesome song, “Out of Gas” is my favorite—it give some backstory in a highly interesting way, “Ariel” is heart-stoppingly thrilling, “War Stories” is fun (as fun as torture can be), and “Objects in Space” is just weird (but kind of in an awesome way).

In conclusion, maybe it’s a good thing it only lasted a few episodes, because that’s the only reason I gave this show a chance. I liked that it had a Big Damn Movie as a finale so I wouldn’t be stuck watching season after season. This show is lots of fun; a great summer distraction.

And so ends my DVD reviews. Yay! I really have too much time on my hands these days.

a playlist

My Playlist for July 2008:

1. Jack and Diane- John Cougar Melloncamp
2. The First Single (You Know Me)- The Format
3. Let's Dance to Joy Division- The Wombats
4. Viva La Vida- Coldplay
5. The Call- Regina Spektor
6. Surrender- Cheap Trick
7. Pork and Beans- Weezer
8. Rise Above This- Seether
9. Romeo and Juliet- Dire Straits
10. Sweet and Low- Augustana
11. Fake Plastic Trees- Radiohead
12. Forever- Chris Brown
13. I Kissed A Girl- Katy Perry
14. Time To Pretend- MGMT
15. You Can't Always Get What You Want- The Rolling Stones
16. The Beginning is the End is the Beginning- Smashing Pumpkins